Sweeter than it can ever get

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

im upset
i lost it all
i lost my freedom , i lost everything
why ? cause i didnt hide it
i lost pride in myself
i lose face
so are u satisfied nw ayah ?
do u noe hw i feel nw ibu ?
do u noe that i only have my kakak to tell her everything ?
everyone crying
but im not
its nt over , i noe .
hell is abt to start , i see that since last nyte .
i lost my boyfren
i bet he hates me nw
i bet he will tell everyone abt this
make sure i get hated entirely .
and im ready for all that too
im ready to stand up alone
im ready to get beaten up again , till the day i noe i cnt take it i will just go .
i noe i lost all my freedom , my lyfe , everything
i bet im gonna get cold shoulders from both parents
my sister cnt help
she wants me to learn
but she doesnt noe i already did
look , i noe i didnt listen
but hey ? u were once me
my age , my level of mischiefness
i will learn , slowly .
i will get it
i will get wad u did get , all those shyt
bcos both parents cursed at each other
i bet they are blaming each other f0r wadever i did
fools , really , they are
its my fault , so get over it
idk why a lovebite made such a huuhaa
girls hm ? i dare u to sent me thr ayah
u wanna change me ryte ?
u think u cnt control me ryte ?
then GO FCKING AHEAD SEND ME THR
kakak , ur not done wit me ryte ?
well , im done here
im so done
i care abt u . but do u see that ?
do u see my emptiness
i live like some out of place kid in this house
but u were thr
thr for me to hold on to
for me to keep going , do u ever noe that the day u were hospitalized
was the day i cried the hardest , i wanted to do you proud , so i made myself do well in PSLE
i told myself i i had education , i will help my sister
ur just my everything , ur e best gift god ever gave me
u want me to learn my mistakes ryte ?
so i will . i will make sure i go through this shit on my own
so stop shedding tears for me bitch .
you like like ugly betty wit swelled up eyes

so for now , let me take my time . learn from this shyt im in
and to syafiq , im sry i made you into trouble .
do all u want to me
hate me ? make others do so too ?
just do it
im in the wrong , u have the right to DAMN me as much as you want
its over i guess , but thanks for being thr although u always had training .
im so ashamed to see you
i wld never forget that face u had on you
maybe sorry isnt enuf for wad u had
forgive me will you ?

and to my GFS , call my house , i dnt get my phone anymore
this place is going go hell . and im going to get sent somewhr
idk wads coming . im just going to be ready

goodbye loves (: